Jul. 23rd, 2009

rubyredrose: (Default)
So I've been remembering my dreams off and on lately. And all the ones I remember are about comic book characters, for some reason. So you get to share in my unconscious writing what is probably bad fanfiction. Enjoy.

The adventures of Peter Parker pretending not to be Spiderman.
Peter Parker comes home to his (boilogical) parents only to find that the MIB (not the Will Smith version, the make you disappear if you ask too many questions version) are in the process of kidnapping his parents. They're for some reason returned from being in the CIA, or FBI, or whatever secret government conspiracy kept them from raising him, to return to his life and add yet another complication in the horrible life of Peter Parker. Also, they know he's Spiderman. This will be important later.

So Pete's dad is already gone, and they're in the process of chloroforming his mom. Pete then goes ballistic and starts to beat up the MIB while being careful not to do things like web them, or stick to walls. You know, MERELY making bloody pulps out of what used to be a person with your bare hands. And a door frame being applied repeatedly to someone's head. Stuff a normal person could do if sufficiently motivated.

Unfortunately, while he's kicking their butts, they've got a hostage, so he is forced to go along with them into an unmarked gray van (tm) while his mom sleeps off the drugs. However, since he's Spiderman, he's got a few tricks up his sleeves, and manages to free her and himself, escaping the van. It involved a tiny gadget that he got from...somewhere, maybe one of the many evil or not always evil scientists in his life.

Regardless, he's on the run, with a barely coherent 50s era Mother. So where does he go? The house I grew up in, and lived there for 18 years. A lot of my dreams end up there at some point. Anyway. So he's got his mom, but not his dad, and When mpm wakes up, it is apparent she has been brainwashed. She doesn't know he's Spiderman, and thinks she's divorced his dad and they're now living in this house they've come to. Pete meanwhile, is inner monologuing to himself over whether or not it is safe to let her know he's Spiderman. Then he abruptly realizes from what the MIB were saying in the van that THEY KNOW HE'S SPIDERMAN, and are collecting "capes" to do their dirty work for them.

Then, of course, I wake up. A few days later, it's DC time!

The tale of Batman explaining to Supergirl that Superman is being sneaky.
So Brainiac* is trying to shoot nuclear missiles off, and has a super killer robot body made of unobtainium. This presents more of a problem than you'd think for Batman, so he calls Superman for advice, since Brainiac is usually one of HIS villains. Superman, meanwhile is busy being the chauffeur for a bunch of politicians...he's carrying Boeing 737s to a secret location, then diving underwater to drop them off at a submarine.

So he's chatting with Batman using his Blutooth headset while carrying an airplane. But Superman knows what's going on, and even Batman's ultra secure phone line has been compromised. So he tells him he's sitting on a runway waiting for a plane to take off, and it's annoying that he has to take the plane and they won't let him get a pilot 's license so he can fly the plane there himself. He also says he can't talk now because he's stuck on the runway. Batman raises an eyebrow.

Superman meanwhile yells hello to Supergirl (who is conveniently flying by) and that Batman may need some help and for her to stop by and say "hi" for him.

She arrives at the batcave and starts to explain why she's there, and how she doesn't understand what's going on. Robin (Tim Drake, for the record) then explains that Superman is protecting the folks that have the ability to set off nuclear missiles by hiding them, but since Brainiac has the ability to hack all computer systems he couldn't just tell her what was going on. She then realizes that the cal she got from Clark Kent telling her to go somewhere else just carefully calculated so he could intersect her flightpath to tell her to go get help from Badman. Duh.

Just as things are about to get good, however...I wake up. Darn. I wanted to see Batman kick Brainiac's ass.


* Why is my spell check trying to turn Brainiac into Ukrainians? WTF.

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