rubyredrose (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
rubyredrose) wrote2004-02-17 09:47 pm
rubyredrose) wrote2004-02-17 09:47 pm
(no subject)
*sigh*
So yeah. I'm taking my grandmom (who never ever gets out of her apartment except to go to the mailbox, the store, or when dragged on outings with my parents or myself 'cause we think she needs to get out more... ) to the bookstore tomorrow after work so she can spend a gift card she was given for x-mas. I was talking to her via phone to set up my picking her up after work, and I accidentally mentioned something I now regret. I mentioned something in passing, and now she wants to know more about it. I can't tell her about it, 'cause it's not about me, so it's not my right to tell anyone. And it has been decided not to tell her until more is known about it, since she's in pretty bad health herself, and prone to all sorts of depression, being a manipulative so-and-so, has way too much time on her hands, and other fun family-type things. But in order to keep her from grilling me about it, I'm gonna have to straight out lie to her tomorrow. And I'm not sure even that will work. I suck at keeping secrets, apparently.
Despite the change in the weather for the better, I'm still all achey and in pain. ;_; I really need to get my wisdom teeth out, but it's not even an option right now since I can't take time off while I'm in training for work. Speaking of work.
I have a test tomorrow. For some reason...they think they deserve to test me on the stuff I've supposedly been learning about how to do my new job. Joy. I hate most of the people in my training class. Okay. Maybe not hate - I don't want to render them serious bodily harm after all. They're just not the people I want to spend ALL @#$% DAY with. I'm going to have to continue to spend most of my time with these people once I get into transition, which is where I'll actually get to start doing my job again. And it's starting to get to me. At least then I'll be dealing with customers most of the time, and won't have to TALK to them.
And I'm on the day shift. Which I hate. Because I don't get to hang out with my friends at crack o'clock in the morning. Instead, I have to get up and try to be sociable to people who call me disney princess and laugh at me because I once accidentally fell when I sat down in a chair. Stupid rolling chair that doesn't balance right. Stupid idiotic people at work. >.<
And I get online to check LJ (I only do this every few days, 'cause I'm lazy.) to find that a lot of people have been going on about something I feel very strongly about. But don't talk about much, since flames=bad. You can probably guess what it is, but...I'm not going there. Nontheless, I am further disheartened by a lot of the things I've been reading in people's posts.
The dnd game I've been running should be fun since I'm hanging out with my friends, except when it's not. DM'ng is really thankless, and I'm having doubts as to if I'm being successful at all, or if people are trying to be nice. We just lost one of the players, and that cuts the group down to three until the person I've aranged to join the group is able to do so. And I'm wondering if all this isn't more stress than it's worth, but don't want to just give up halfway. I hate not finishing stuff like this.
I always fail to finish stuff. And I hate it. I started an elfwood account, and haven't updated once. I made a webpage like...4+ years ago. I don't even have the password to delete it anymore, so I still get random responses to it occasionally. I started a fanfic once, and stopped after 4 chapters. I want to do a comic, maybe even post it online, but I can't seem to do more than a couple of pages.
Of my friends, the only people I ever see more than once every few weeks (if that) are in my dnd game..and some of them, only at the game. I feel like I'm loosing touch with a lot of people I care about. I think it might simply be because they all seem to have other friends that I don't know that they spend time with most of the time. ...which there is nothing wrong with.
But I feel isolated right now, and right now life sucks. And I'm not sure what's making me get out of bed in the mornings right now, because it certainly isn't anything I'm looking forward to.
Well. That was cathartic. Or not.
Have a nice day.
So yeah. I'm taking my grandmom (who never ever gets out of her apartment except to go to the mailbox, the store, or when dragged on outings with my parents or myself 'cause we think she needs to get out more... ) to the bookstore tomorrow after work so she can spend a gift card she was given for x-mas. I was talking to her via phone to set up my picking her up after work, and I accidentally mentioned something I now regret. I mentioned something in passing, and now she wants to know more about it. I can't tell her about it, 'cause it's not about me, so it's not my right to tell anyone. And it has been decided not to tell her until more is known about it, since she's in pretty bad health herself, and prone to all sorts of depression, being a manipulative so-and-so, has way too much time on her hands, and other fun family-type things. But in order to keep her from grilling me about it, I'm gonna have to straight out lie to her tomorrow. And I'm not sure even that will work. I suck at keeping secrets, apparently.
Despite the change in the weather for the better, I'm still all achey and in pain. ;_; I really need to get my wisdom teeth out, but it's not even an option right now since I can't take time off while I'm in training for work. Speaking of work.
I have a test tomorrow. For some reason...they think they deserve to test me on the stuff I've supposedly been learning about how to do my new job. Joy. I hate most of the people in my training class. Okay. Maybe not hate - I don't want to render them serious bodily harm after all. They're just not the people I want to spend ALL @#$% DAY with. I'm going to have to continue to spend most of my time with these people once I get into transition, which is where I'll actually get to start doing my job again. And it's starting to get to me. At least then I'll be dealing with customers most of the time, and won't have to TALK to them.
And I'm on the day shift. Which I hate. Because I don't get to hang out with my friends at crack o'clock in the morning. Instead, I have to get up and try to be sociable to people who call me disney princess and laugh at me because I once accidentally fell when I sat down in a chair. Stupid rolling chair that doesn't balance right. Stupid idiotic people at work. >.<
And I get online to check LJ (I only do this every few days, 'cause I'm lazy.) to find that a lot of people have been going on about something I feel very strongly about. But don't talk about much, since flames=bad. You can probably guess what it is, but...I'm not going there. Nontheless, I am further disheartened by a lot of the things I've been reading in people's posts.
The dnd game I've been running should be fun since I'm hanging out with my friends, except when it's not. DM'ng is really thankless, and I'm having doubts as to if I'm being successful at all, or if people are trying to be nice. We just lost one of the players, and that cuts the group down to three until the person I've aranged to join the group is able to do so. And I'm wondering if all this isn't more stress than it's worth, but don't want to just give up halfway. I hate not finishing stuff like this.
I always fail to finish stuff. And I hate it. I started an elfwood account, and haven't updated once. I made a webpage like...4+ years ago. I don't even have the password to delete it anymore, so I still get random responses to it occasionally. I started a fanfic once, and stopped after 4 chapters. I want to do a comic, maybe even post it online, but I can't seem to do more than a couple of pages.
Of my friends, the only people I ever see more than once every few weeks (if that) are in my dnd game..and some of them, only at the game. I feel like I'm loosing touch with a lot of people I care about. I think it might simply be because they all seem to have other friends that I don't know that they spend time with most of the time. ...which there is nothing wrong with.
But I feel isolated right now, and right now life sucks. And I'm not sure what's making me get out of bed in the mornings right now, because it certainly isn't anything I'm looking forward to.
Well. That was cathartic. Or not.
Have a nice day.